Reflecting Shoes

"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another as God is Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

Five years. That is how long it has been since our world was shaken. What happened? Five years ago my husband was called on a Wednesday and informed that the upcoming Sunday would be his last at the church that he faithfully pastored for over 25 years. The very remembrance of this fateful day still brings a great aching of the heart and tears to the eyes. It hurt then. It still hurts now.
   
During these past five years God has tended and cared for us in ways we could not have foreseen. He has met our physical needs. He has met our spiritual needs. He has poured the balm of healing over our wounded hearts and provided joy in unexpected places.

At this five year anniversary I have decided it is time to make a public declaration of sorts. It is a declaration of forgiveness. I will begin. Although no one has come to me to ask forgiveness, I am moving forward with my statement:

• For granting my husband and family only four days notice before our last Sunday, I forgive you.
• For allowing false testimony about my husband to be spoken, believed, and not corrected, I forgive you.
• For the many "friends" who immediately suspended interaction with my husband and behaved as though he were a type of criminal, I forgive you.
• For removing from my children the delight of returning home to the only church home they had ever known, I forgive you.
• For denying my youngest child the pleasure of growing up with his church nursery companions, I forgive you.
• For the refusal by the leadership to bless my husband in his work, I forgive you.
• For the overall disrespect shown to the faithful spiritual leadership of my husband for over 25 years, I forgive you.

Dear Sisters, forgiveness is so very hard, but we must. Our Lord has instructed us to do so ! While offenses against us seem to be looming towers, they are really quite small when weighed against those sins we have committed against a Holy God. He offers us forgiveness through His Son Jesus. We can offer no less to those who have done us harm.

As a five year veteran of the heartache inflicted by a church on its pastor, allow me to encourage my fellow PW sisters. Life does move on. Healing comes and it must include the extension of forgiveness by you to those who have brought hurt. Will you forget? No. But you must forgive.

POSTSCRIPT: I want to add a hearty thank you to those who continued to show kindness, grace, mercy, and friendship even after my husband was no longer a part of the church. Thank you. May God bless you for your love and care.