Friendship Shoes

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." (Proverbs 17:17)

There is a common axiom frequently expressed in gatherings of pastors and their wives : "One cannot have true friends within one's own congregation." As a young PW I refused to agree. "Our experience will be different," I thought. The years of ministry passed and I began to understand the reason for the axiom. My heart did not want to agree, but my mind had to face the facts.

And what were the facts? During our time of ministry we experienced abandonment and betrayal. Friends chose to leave the church. At an especially difficult time I confided with one I considered a friend only to learn that my confidence had been shared with another. The result of this betrayed confidence was a biting email written to my already beleaguered husband and the closing of my heart to any intimate friendship. Too much pain. Finally, my husband was wrongly treated by one who had described him to be "like a brother". Result? Twenty-five years of ministry at the same church ended. The common axiom rang true.

Thankfully, the story does not end here. A ray of light pierces through the pain. I have a friend - a sister who was born for adversity and understands the job. As my husband and I endured the tragedy of being  ripped away from a church where we had given of our hearts, our time, and our energy, there was a friend in whom I could confide. I'm not talking about our blessed friend Jesus - I'm talking about an earthly friend. This earthly friend provided a sounding board for me. She prayed with me, called me to see how I was, and encouraged me. She kept her word to not share with others what I had shared with her. More than a year later, she continues in the work of a true friend.

Dear sisters, if you are a PW please be careful before you wear friendship shoes. Be aware that you may be hurt. Observe the character of those around you and choose carefully. Once you have found a friend, wear your shoes proudly and with gratitude. Be the friend you desire her to be. Such a friend is rare. Enjoy the blessing! If you are not a PW, consider being a friend to one. Be willing to persevere and not demand. Listen and keep your tongue from gossip. Be ready to pray at a moment's notice. When adversity comes, stay on the job.

In closing I want to thank my dear sister in Christ. You know who you are, and I want you to know of my gratitude. You are a gift from God and I am greatly blessed.